Ranking Dad Jokes. How do you make an idiot say how? How? Did you guys hear about that actress who got stabbed? No, what happened? Reese Witherspoon? No, with a knife. What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bye son. Bi-son. What did the egg say at the house party? I'm lit. Omelette. Boss, I think someone in the office is poss
He wrote a song for his crush... and the world fell in love. So, are you singing an original song today? Um, yeah, I wrote it myself. Yeah, it's called 'Lightning'. What's the song about? Um, it's about a girl. Yes, a girl. Tell me more. Um, I'd really like to be my girlfriend one day. Oh. Does she know you've written the song for her? No, she does
You want to know what the saddest thing is? We live in a world of hypocrites where people wish for your failure but smile in front of you as if they love you. If I had to live my life over again, I wouldn't change a thing, except I'd open my eyes a little more. Sometimes my excessive kindness causes me problems. Too kind, too naive. I've learned th
Ladies, he's not single because girls don't want him. He's single because he hasn't found a girl he wants yet. Way different. One is rejection, the other is standards. Stop confusing a man who is not settled with a man who can't be chosen. He's waiting for the right one and he's not begging for anyone.
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