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avatar Anthony Miller

They don't make commercials like this anymore. And there's your beautiful baby. Any day now. Really? You're eating Doritos? He's eating Doritos on my ultrasound. Do you see what I have to do? I know. Give me that.

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avatar Jacob Junior

I'll tell you what I think Shane's mistake was on Saturday Night Live. You can't go around talking about women like that. If you wanna talk about gender and not seem like a misogynist, here's the trick. You don't say you're talking about women, you say you're talking about white women. 'Cause if you're like, 'Women complain too much,' people are li

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avatar Sophia Rich

OMG! Are you the legal guardians of Bud Bundy? Upstairs. Oh, you will do things, but begging will not be one of them. I hate my life. Welcome to Gary Shoes. Hey, back off, man. She's here for shoes. That's it, okay? That's my dates. Don't worry, Mr. Bundy, we'll take good care of Kelly. Have fun, pumpkin. One, two, three. Two, three. Fix faucet. Oh

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avatar John Paul

When you feel the urge to spice up your relationship... Oh, wait, hang on one second. Don't move.

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avatar Anthony Miller

Good morning. Stay blessed, healthy, happy. Have a nice day!

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avatar Charlie Chocolate

I wish she'd come back. Earlier you were just defending ICE agents generally. And earlier on, Secretary Nolen spoke to the media and she said, among other things, that they are doing everything correctly. Um, 32 people died in ICE custody last year. Uh, 170 US citizens were detained by ICE. And uh, Renee Good was shot in the head and killed by an I

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