This is quite possibly the dumbest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. You are reporting that someone stole the drugs that you were trying to sell them. Sir, I'm broke. I'm just trying to make a little... At what point does this make any sense? At what point? It doesn't make it. At what point do you think telling the cops that someone stole...
Masturbating is really important to you. Yeah, it is. It keeps me sane. I'm a good citizen. I'm a good father. I recycle and I masturbate. And I'm proud of it. And... and God's happy. And later I'm gonna masturbate, I'm gonna think about you. And there's nothing you can do about it.
Sleepy Kitty Shenanigans. Finally found our kitten Avocado after hours of looking. Lil guy falls asleep mid sentence. Ain't Nobody told me they fight they sleep toooo. This morning, I found my cat sleeping in a pretty unusual position... You need a good pillow? Mmm-hmm, that's fine. You playing queen? How are you? Are you sure?
Bill Maher: "A few weeks ago, a liberal Democrat named Melissa Chaudhry running for Congress in Seattle was asked, 'Why, among the many liberal causes listed on her website, LGBT rights was conspicuously absent?' Because she said, 'a lot of Muslims do not feel that way, unfortunately.' Now here's where liberal sphincters just tightened because they
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