I Farted and that's as close as I'm gonna give a shit Kevin Phillips Music Used to worry what everybody thought Tried to keep 'em happy Tied myself in knots Bit my tongue when somebody crossed the line Smiled and nodded like everything was fine Spent half my life trying not to offend Folks I didn't even like enough to call a friend Then somewhere a
30 Million Views and Counting! Other planets have equinoxes. How do they celebrate on the equini? On Uranus, they go nuts. So they have to change the name of that, I think. Follow for more laughs.
Mom is 88 and has late stage dementia. If you dont believe Jesus is real, just watch and be amazed. Hey, can you tell me what your address is? What color shirt did you have on yesterday? What did you have for lunch today? Food. Thank you. So, who is... who is Linda? Do you know Linda? What about Paul? Paul? Well, who is Jesus? Well, Jesus is the on
I asked for no dressing. You sure? This dressing contains mayonnaise and I'm allergic to eggs. I'm allergic to people with allergies, but you don't hear me whining. Excuse me? I'd like to speak to the manager. Okay. Hi! You wanted to speak to the manager, what seems to be the problem? Well, you're rude. Oh no, are you leaving? Yeah, and I'm never c
Well, we'll work for food, eh? Here's an apple. I'd like you to wash that man's windshield. Work? Man, I ain't going to wash his windshield for no apple. Oh, excuse me, that doesn't say might work for food, it doesn't say restricted menu, it says will work for food. This is food. That's work. Yeah, I ain't doing it, that's all. Well, let's be hones
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